11/52 Sam Morse & Sonia Jain

11/52 Sam Morse & Sonia Jain

Sonia: It’s inevitable when we walk down the street that people look at us, like “That Is a brown woman with a white man”. It’s hard to avoid not thinking about it. It’s something we’ve talked about a lot, that mixed element.

Sam: There is an element that always exists- everyday it comes up. There are glass ceilings or invisible barriers to whatever Sonia does that has to do with culture and race. There are certain biases that we operate under being white guys that I don’t see, that Sonia does and vice versa. For me it’s been a huge eye opener. I think about it all the time now and I’ll read certain things or hear certain things that people say and I’m often like “that is completely closed minded”. I am here to learn. There are really difficult conversations that need to be had, but for me it’s been a great thing that’s helped me grow as a person.

Sonia: Yeah, for sure. I think we’re both learning though. I always felt like I was a burden almost, in the fact that I have all these things that I’m trying to bring into Sam’s life, knowing that I also can’t change Sam. I think we’ve got to compromise and adapt to each other. So it’s also been an experience for me to be patient and know that people are going to take their own time to learn. I have all this history and culture behind me, but I can’t expect someone to meet me at that same level immediately. I remember our first date three years ago, I snapped because I was like “wow we’re so different” it almost threw me off. But it was also like..I’ve just been in so many settings where no one is similar to me, it probably put me over the edge. Then it was just.. sitting down and being like “ok lets communicate about this, what can we do to have good communication”

Sam: I totally agree. Sonia has such a good grasp on social issues and she totally calls me on any of my shit. She’s so well educated on the topics and can easily explain why I might be looking at things the wrong way but I’m also here to learn things myself. It’s unfair to not take ownership in the process and it’s essential if you’re going to work through things as a team.